A gift expert once said that gifts are a means for communicating to others what values we want them to develop. A brother might give a book on self-reliance to a sister who has low self-esteem. An uncle might give his nephew tickets to a ball game to get him more interested in sports. A wife might even give her husband bread-baking lessons. The message: Bake the bread, don’t just earn it.

A quick tour of the local mall last weekend some pretty pitiful ideas that were being pushed on unsuspecting kids and moms as the ultimate gift for recognizing Father’s Day.

There was the “My Goofy Dad” display of merchandise at the Walt Disney Store, funny but in a really stupid way. In other stores, dorky shirts and hats abound — the type that only Chevy Chase would wear in his father films. Again, funny — but really corny. Finally, as ties have disappeared from the workplace, tie manufacturers are working to keep the business. So everywhere there are ties with foolish designs and sayings on them, trying way too hard to look hip and fun.

Don’t they get it? The dad of the new millennium doesn’t like wearing neck tourniquets.

The desire to put some fun into Father’s Day is a worthy goal. But these executions are weak attempts.

Down deep, every dad wants to kick back, laugh and connect with the family — to relive those magic moments he had with his dad. But it’s tough. It’s a cruel joke: The times in our lives when we are most productive at work, when we have the opportunity to move up the corporate ladder the fastest, are also the times when we are most needed as a father, the times when our children are growing.

Moms, kids, stepkids, it’s time to start some new traditions for Father’s Day, and you can begin with this one. It’s time to have some genuine fun and excitement. Let’s build memories this Father’s Day — the kind that last.

Here are two strategies for making magic memories with Dad – any weekend this summer

– A Spirit of Adventure. An element of risk, of wow, of audacity generates authentic fun and excitement. What could be more exciting than shooting off a model rocket and seeing it parachute to earth? Most toy stores have a complete, ready-to-fly model rocket set by ESTES for $19.95. Moms, for the ultimate gift, buy two rockets (one may get stuck in a tree) and lots of extra rocket cartridges.

If rockets don’t work for you, try remote-control boats, planes or a pair of remote-control cars with a chalk race course on the driveway. The key is to stimulate a spirit of adventure.

Make the day really memorable by packing a picnic lunch of Dad’s favorite foods, the Sunday paper and even a portable cassette player with music from when he was in high school. Find a favorite spot, relax and have fun together.

– Dad Fest ‘09. On holidays that are traditionally family-focused such as Father’s Day, there is a tendency to isolate ourselves from others. It may surprise you, but most men are pack animals. Like dogs and wolves, we like to be in a group. It’s just that our hectic lives don’t make this easy to do. Moms, this Father’s Day, gather together a group of your friends and hold a “Dad Fest.” Make it a big surprise. If your dad loves sports, gather at someone’s house or the park for Wiffleball, ultimate Frisbee, softball, basketball, touch football or kickball games. Cook up some burgers or chicken, and don’t forget the lemonade, ice-cold beer and marshmallows for the kids to cook over the fire.

When dads play together, it’s as if a magic spell comes over them. In an instant they are 10 years younger — and full of energy and enthusiasm.

Moms, kids — trust us. Dads love a sense of adventure and to leisure sports. Make it easy on them, and they’ll love you for it. You’ll be making a new tradition. And traditions are the glue that helps build a family.

Filed under: Parenting Ideas/Innovations